Remembrance by Brier

We all have days where we feel we can’t go on anymore, as if we’re all alone. In this poem, I guess I was trying to depict the mind of those who come closer to not going on than most. The people who sometimes choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. A reflection in the mind of those who contemplate the end… suicide.

She remembers it all,
All the people who had said
They cared, but did they really?

She remembers it all,
The sound of laughter and
How happy she’d been, but was she really?

She remembers it all,
His arms around her and
He said “I love you,” but did he really?

She remembers it all,
The pain she’d felt when he left,
How her heart ached, but was it really?

She remembers it all,
The feeling of being so alone,
The feeling no one cared, but did they really?

But now they’ll remember her,
Staring at the knife in her hand
How easy to slit her wrists, but will she really?

Why am I posting this poem?
Am I sad?
Am I giving up?
Or, am I finding an answer to pain in life?

Ha! Nah…
I’m just in love with this poem.
It reminds me of so many memories.

People that I’ve to let go.
And, those who walked out of my life.
Some hurt me more than ever.
All these people,were gone.
But those memories were still here.
And, I know…
Forever, they’ll all just be our memories.

This is far more than enough.
They made me, a better and stronger person.
The endless night of physical pain and tears.
It’s worth it!
Those scars made me stronger, wiser & tender in heart.

Slowly, growing to love unconditionally.
Gradually, embracing the weakness.
In togetherness, there’s support and encouragement.

With the Lord, my Savior.
With my few beloved friends.
My life is getting not just better, but fully satisfied.
How much can the world gives me, the completeness that I’ve been longing for…
Frankly, the world can never gives enough.
Even if it did, it’ll never be eternal.

In Christ, I’ve found my joy and my eternal peace.
Christ, my SHALOM.

Singlehood for You, Lord

Year 2009 was a very remarkable year for me. I had many breakthroughs. I believe my Lord is well pleased with me. I had succeed in my goals which I’ve planned at the start of Year 2009.

It’s only His grace and mercy that can lead me this far. Indeed, God is faithful and good at all times.

So, I was praying for God to show me something, a goal or a breakthrough that I can focus before Year 2009 ends. I want to make my 2009 the best year ever in my whole entire walk with walk so far.

He led me to this website that speaks to me what He wanna me to do.
Indeed, all the contents in the site is speaking to me and is what I really need.
For a moment, I was thinking that is too much for me to absorb.
So, the word daily devotional come into my mind.

My Lord blesses me with a 36 days devotions on singlehood.
Starting from tomorrow till 31/12/09, it’s exactly 36 days!

There’re 36 points in the website.
So cool, right?
I do not believe is coincidence, but God’s plan.

I know this is His plan, His call for me to maximize my singlehood for Him.

Praise the Lord!
Once again, I’m in awe of Him.

 


Singlehood is the time to develop the craving, the absolute burning desire to give. This is where the pain of being single comes from. Developing an awareness of this need to give, and not having the fullest opportunity to express it.

Real giving means to look at what the other person needs. Learning to understand a person’s real needs is the primary skill required for a successful marriage. Giving is only meaningful when it takes into consideration what the receiver needs, not what you want or are able to give. When you focus on the needs of others you are developing sensitivity toward them. You grow into the other person’s world and begin to understand them on a very deep level.

Singlehood is the time to practice becoming a giver.

Singlehood is a time of waiting, pruning, changing, growth and invariably maturity. Do not view singlehood like the world views it.  As something to tolerate and endure impatiently.  Rather wait patiently and joyfully because you understand that faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen.  God knows the deepest desires of your heart; he knows that you want to be married but he also knows that marriage must be entered fully equipped and whole.  Anything less than this will lead to needless problems in the future .

Allow God to make you single unique and whole (S.U.W).  Co-operate with God while he prunes you to make you fruitful in every good work. Remember pruning hurts but the end result is accelerated growth and fruitfulness.

Let your dreams for and anticipation of marriage be huge.  Ask God for things you want and also for those things you do not want. As time goes by God will begin to make your will and desires to align with His. In this way your marriage will have all the needed components and resources need to make it an absolute success.

Singehood is indeed maximized if it spent for the Kingdom of GOD through reaching out to others who are straying away from God.

If you are still single, you too can maximize your singlehood by engaging in endeavors that will bring impact and touch the lives of many people.

Learn to enjoy and maximize your singlehood.  Use this time to be single with God.  Let your affections, focus and desires be directed towards the things of God.  And at the appropriate season, at the set time, God will unite you with your suitable, able, fit and equipped (S.A.F.E) mate.

If you can not submit joyfully to God whilst you are single; it is impossible to submit joyfully to your partner in marriage.  Submission is both for men and women, husbands and wives.  You must first learn to submit continually to Christ before you will ever be able to submit to your mate.

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To You

Love And Learn.wma – Steven Curtis Chapman

Echoes of careless words and slamming doors
Are still ringing in the night
I’ve taken my side and you’ve taken yours
We’re both wrong and we’re both right
Once again misunderstanding has turned us into enemies
I will forgive you, will you forgive me?

Chorus:
Love and learn, that’s what we will do
Love and learn through the flood and through the flame

This world will turn and the seasons will change
But there’s nothing we can’t get through
As long as we both hold on to the hand of God and each other
And take a lifetime to love and learn
And take a lifetime to love and learn

We start out believing we know love so well
But through the years we find
True love is a story only time can tell
And God has made this lifetime yours and mine

So until that day when one of us
Has to lay the other in the arms of Jesus
I will be with you and you will be with me

Pictures Paint A Thousand Words

The irony…
we’re so close yet so far.

I’ll wait for you.
always.

Away

She’s away…

The Heart of My Heart

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
And crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed
And by His wounds, by His wounds

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

God in our likeness
For nothing less than love
Our Judge became our Savior
To make a way for us

The cross the crown
The blood falling down
The love that cost
A price greater than
All we could pay

Who can stand as righteous
A sinner saved by grace
The wrath of God was crucified
When Jesus took our place

The cross the crown
The blood falling down
The love that cost
A price greater than
All we could pay

***

My Lord is faithful. Forever faithful is He.
When I don’t understand what’s going on in my life,
When I am lost & distress.
He came humbly, capturing my attention.
Opened up my ears to His wisdom.
Set my heart apart from the world, for Him.
I saw Him coming forth, reaching His gracious hands to me.
He reaches out for me…
Neither did He condemned or punished me.
But He showed me grace and mercy upon the cross.
By His wounds, I am healed.
By His forgiveness, I can go and sin no more. (ref. John 8:11, NKJV)

O Lord, how gracious are You to me!
I fall upon Your presence.
For You who are righteous.
The light of the world.
The love of God is…
The heart of my heart.

Its Haunting Me Again

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can’t sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don’t come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You’d do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You’d give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in his heart
But you don’t know what to say
And you don’t know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You’ve dreamed of all your life
You’d do just about anything to look into his eyes
Have you finally found the one you’ve given your heart to
Only to find that one won’t give his heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that he was there
And all you can do is wait for that day
when he will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
‘Cuz baby I can’t sleep

Our past are memories that we cannot retrieve back anymore.
They lived deep in our heart & soul.
Those good and bad times.
Times where we cried like there’s no tomorrow.
And, rejoiced like it’s our wedding day.

Yet, all these…
Remarkable memories, we have to forgot.
It’s not a choice. It’s a must.
Thus, the choice is a “MUST”.
In order to set ourselves free, we gotta move on.

Letting go of our past. Even the happiest ones.
Unbearable emotions we’re feeling now, is that we hold on to all the happiest moments.
We hope and wish we could go back in time.
Apologize for all our mistakes.
Make up for all the pain we’ve caused to the people we loved.
Re-act upon all the decisions that we made, which we regretted much.
Make extra effort in loving and giving your best to the one you loved.

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won, had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

Author Unknown

Lord,
Give me the strength and courage to pull it through.
It’s really hard & its hurting me badly.
But I still want to trust in You.
In Your power, there’s grace & strength.
Sufficient for me to meet every challenges I may face.

Wounded in Love

Paulo Coelho

As if nothing had changed overnight, the warrior takes another wrong step and dives once again into the abyss. Ghosts provoke him, loneliness torments him. Now that he is more aware of his acts, he did not think this would happen.

But it did. Shrouded by darkness, he talks to his master.

“Master, I fell again into the abyss “, he says.” The waters are deep and dark”.

“Remember something “, responds the master. “What drowns is not the dive, but the fact of staying under water “.

***

 

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage.  Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”.  Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage.  In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while.  The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden.  In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor.  The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly.  Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time.  It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things.  One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints.  Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination : Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers.  They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”.  Because they haven’t.

Transparent Heart

“God’s word is living and powerful…a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart…all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.”
Hebrews 4:12-13

Our hearts are transparent before the eyes of God. Nothing hidden nor out of view.  Mankind, born of sorrows and grief struggle with their conscience concerning who and what they are as well as what their life is about.

“Transparent Heart” sees their failures, their misgivings and their sin as it relates to their relationship with God. We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ our LORD. But, like Paul we grieve for what we are and long for what we will be.

“Transparent Heart” are self reflections of Christian people who hate the sin and corruption they see in their world and in themselves. People with transparent hearts not only know what is in their hearts, they know God as well.

If you grieve inside because of sin and temptations , the world we live in, the pain and sorrow you see and experience, then you will understand the music and concept of……
Transparent Heart.

依然想念着你

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你

虽然被放弃 虽然我愿意
就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂 虽然我愿意
心还想着你

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

风在脸上轻抚
味道有点苦
怎不说情话
你不爱我吗

想让你有自由
却把心弄丢

你不爱我吧
藉口多说都是假

我疯你 别让我说得太多
我疯你 别让我错的太多
我疯你 别让我做得太多

我疯别让我获得太多
我疯你 别让我失去太多

Jesus is My Joy

Pleasing to You

Sanctify me
Clean out my closet
Take away anything
That is not pleasing to You

Purify me
Destroy all my anger
Wash away everything
That is not pleasing to You

CHORUS
I will be white as snow
I will be pure as gold
Jesus my heart must know
I’m pleasing to You

I give my life my all
Taking the cross I will follow
Jesus my heart must know
I’m pleasing to You

VERSE 2
Sanctify me
You are the light to guide me
To the place where I am
Only pleasing to You

Oh come and Purify me Lord
I need your light inside me
So the darkness flees
And I can be pleasing to You

Men & Women

  1. Men & Women are different people so the way they miss, the expression of missing, the intensity, duration, and quantity are all individual.
  2. Men are socialized differently in how to feel and exhibit emotions–and it can be relearned, added to and expanded.
  3. It could just mean that he/she is in familiar surroundings, and busy doing lots of things, so one don’t have a lot of ‘down time’ to formalize the feeling of missing the other.
  4. It could mean that he/she is in a very healthy relationship where one choose to be with each other and do not NEED to be; i.e. you can live without that person and you choose not to do so.
  5. It could mean that he/she need to examine what this means in himself/herself. Is he/she very good at emotions–or does he/she tends to stuff them? Does he/she wants to miss him/her more? Why? Is he/she happy when he’s/she’s back?
  6. Do you and boy/girl friend compare how much you miss each other? Again, that’s apples and oranges.
  7. Does he/she feel pressured to ‘miss’ him/her more? If so why? If he/she love him/her lots, and are happy when he/she returns. Perhaps, too much emphasis is being put on ‘how much you miss…

***

Well, God created man & women differently.
When differences come, disagreement takes places.
Some truths are complicated & in addition it hurts.
How can 2 different human being come together as one without exploding?
And, too love endlessly, through all times…?

Oh well, it takes deliberate effort by surrendering to God the r/s & the issues.
Let Him who is able, to teach, guide & solve it for you through Him.
We do our part to pray and seek Him.
Come on bended knees before Him,
lifting it up to the Lord.
More & more, He’ll reveal it to us…..

The right one for us.
How to deal with those issues.
What can be said and not to be said.
Meaningful lesson on understanding in opposite gender.

Slowly, the Spirit of God will lead as you rest in Him.
In Him, there’s love & peace… =)

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Love VS Hurt

“I have found the paradox – If I love until it hurts then there is no hurt but only more love.”
- by Mother Teresa


This quote by Mother Teresa wet my eyes.
Enclosed me into darkness of thoughts.
I clenched my fist in sadness & fear.
Pierced and cut my heart.

After all, love will hurt.
Only when it hurts, that’s when you know..
You’ve truly love someone.

哭了以后才明白,这是

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Subway with Him

praying_girl-2_sidebar

I had a very long working day on a lovely Saturday.
From morning 8 plus till 4 plus, I went from house to house to give tuition.
I’m exhausted, really worn-out.
Took a 2 hours break.
Observing the world, dinner, retail therapy & talking to God.
It was awesome.
It had been a long time since I talked to Him, like a friend.
Am refreshed & had moments that touched by heart.

The Lord can use all kinds of way to speak.
It’s about us, if we’re close to the prompting of His Spirit.
The boy who drag his chair, speaks to me about some stuff.
Those ladies who approach me, speaks to me about something.
The printing on a man’s shirt speaks to me.

The trip back home, I spent my time in worship & praying in Spirit.
Felt the presence of God strongly.
It is as if nothing or anyone else matters.
It’s really just me & God in my time of quietness.

During mid-week church meeting,
God spoke to me with these verses….
Indeed, nothing can spur me even more,
other than His words of peace to my soul, heart & spirit.

******

I will love You, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies.
The pangs of death surrounded me,
And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid.
The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called upon the LORD,
And cried out to my God;
He heard my voice from His temple,
And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.
-Psalm 18:1-6

Walking away. Letting go.

man-walking-away


Love doesn’t walk away….. people do.

*****

The hottest love has the coldest end.

*****

Does holding on makes us strong?  Well, sometimes it is letting go.

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