In Hindsight

I’m trying to find my days gone by
My sunsets and my starry nights
I’m trying to find my happy days
When my soul was light and free

I’m searching for my fairy tale
My once upon a time
I’m searching for that long ago
When love and joy were mine

I’m following my trail of tears
To dances in the rain
To hills of hope and tenderness
Of bitterness and pain

I’m opening every sealed- up door
To see what I might find
And oh, the view revealed to me
The springtime of my mind

And once again I’ll run and laugh
In my own Elysian field
To memories so close and dear
I will glad-fully give up

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It Wasn’t You

I am trying hard to swallow my lunch and tears just now.
I don’t understand why this time it seems so hard?
How can I get you to communicate with me & talk things out?

Here’s a poem I found and edited that express my feelings now…

Many times in my life I have disappointed you,
and begun to stray.
But you didn’t point me in the right direction,
and sent me on my way.

Many times in my life I’ve needed a helping hand,
and someone to pull me up.
It wasn’t you who gave that helping hand,
and others had to help me up.

Many times I’ve been sad and down,
and taken it out on you.
But you weren’t standing by me and comforted me,
In times that I was bad.

Many times I’ve needed support,
and to know someone was there.
It wasn’t you who held me up,
but is my girlfriend who show me care.

Many times I’ve wanted to tell you this,
But never got the courage.
You didn’t helped me out in life,
and I got lost inside.

You weren’t there for me through thick and thin,
You might have given up on me thus you did not teach me how to care.
From the deepest of my heart I still want to say I love you.
I hope things will change and become better.

Beyond Numbers

These two days been spending some quality time with God at home.
God has been leading me to many different websites where I got to see videos & sermons that proclaimed the greatness of God.
His incredible power and love for people in this world.
As I see and understand how this world is created by Him, I’m very much lost in numbers.
Because the measurement of this whole world thingy, perplexed and astonished me.

Despite being lost in the numbers, I’m so much aware of His heart for this whole world.
The galaxies and planets, once again never failed to blow my mind about His greatness.
As I think of myself, I realized that I’m so small, yet I’m so loved by Him.
I’m so naughty and disobedience at times yet He still loves me.
Even before He created me, He has already loved me.

I’m small, so are my problems.
But God is huge, beyond comprehension.

A Psalm of David-
The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

Goodbye by Rosebud

[Edited]
She and I just are totally not on the same wavelength. I feel she doesn’t need me. I used to tell her everything and now we sometimes don’t even say hello anymore. We don’t even seems as if we know each other. Our eyes just passed each other on the streets, like strangers. How miserable an awesome friendship can turned out to like this. I hope things get back to normal between us, because if I ever do tell her goodbye I will miss her.

If she is reading this, I believe she knows its her. Is goodbye the only way to set myself free from bondage? If I continue praying and hoping upon God, why does it still hurt so much whenever I see her around in Singapore?

Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my best friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I’m different from you, all of you
Each other we’ve never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won’t be for good.
Whenever I’m mad it hurts me so bad
And you don’t even care
I don’t know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won’t be there.
If I’m mad at you I’ll complain and scream
But no one seems to understand my sadness
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit’s bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don’t need me and we don’t need we
And that’s how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye.

ODJ: Loved Enough

[Love] does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out (v.6).

READ: 1 Corinthians 13:3-13

The truest friend does not doubt but hope.”
While many movies based on books leave much to be desired, Douglas McGrath’s 1996 production of Emma vividly portrays Jane Austen’s endearing characters, Emma and her beloved Mr. Knightly. The strength of the relationship, though, comes from Austen’s pen as she reveals the longing of every heart—not only to be loved, but to be loved in truth. A man of conviction, Mr. Knightly affirms to Emma that his chastisement of her unacceptable behavior doesn’t come from a rejection of her but from his belief that greater things reside within her.

Spiritual growth doesn’t happen without a confrontation with the truth. In John 14:6, Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through Me.” Far more than factual information, God’s truth is inseparable from His love. Truth required the cross; love made it possible.

Jesus loves us enough to speak straight to us. He does this so that our feet will be set firmly on the solid rock of His Word. In return, we must be willing to love others in truth.

Truth is not easy to hear, and hard words hurt. Love, however, persists past niceties. “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6). Longing to see things set right, love willingly walks the difficult path of speaking the truth found in God’s Word. We do a great injustice to the body of Christ when we pretend that sin doesn’t exist (Ephesians 4:25).

The strength of God becomes active in our lives when we live out the twofold calling to truth. We must be willing to speak it (Proverbs 27:17) as well as receive it (Psalm 141:5). God’s love deals in truth. Anything less isn’t really love. —Regina Franklin

Holding On Tight To My Faith

This road that I’m taking twists and turns
My life my chance turning dreams into reality.
Down this path faced with so many things
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away

Can’t seem to go on
And I’ve been thru’ this before
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I’ll remember.
All those times you’ve bought me thru’.
I’d be a fool to give up cos’ the goal is near

I’ll move on I’ll go on.
Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru’ this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I’ll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on

Here I am Once again caught in the rain.
Looking back I’ve come so far And I want to carry on
Take a step at time
It’s alright.
Even thru’ this rain, I want to smile again

Don’t hold back now.
And i’ve been thru’ this before.
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I’ll remember.
All those times you’ve bought me thru’.
I can feel the sun shining down on me

Here I am, Here I am.
Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru’ this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I’ll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on.

Until Your Journey Is Done

All is great when one can walk away with heart and friendship still intact, even after exploring the very thin line between friends and more than friends. This poem is also about patiently awaiting and trusting the word of a friend who says they will back after a difficult task in their life has been accomplished. Can friendship stand the test of distance, and time? We shall see…

All the nights we laughed and talked,
Of deepest thoughts and untold truths,
Stay on my mind as I think of you.
Your life has taken a new turn.
Bridges not yet crossed are even burned.
As you treat your path anew,
I sit on your heart as a friend,
Like a whisper kiss of morning’s dew.

As I think of your words,
Your thoughts and your voice,
I wanted to tell you to hold you head high,
And set your jaw at a determined level;
For you are deserving of much,
Despite all you may have done.
We have all sinned my friend.
We have all tested,
Then plunged deep into the water,
Of temptations,
Coming forward as wiser people from it.

The journey not yet done, because I lost my way…

Make Lemonade

There were times you thought you could handle what’s going on in your life.
Often things went too fast, beyond our control.
And, when we finally come to realization, it’s all too late.
The conclusion is, “We screwed it up!”

You find no one to talk to.
Too afraid that no one will accept.
Pretty much concerned about how people see you.
Probably thinking that they will start judging you.

Eventually, every choice, every act has a consequence.
Make the best out of it, even when life gives you SHIT.

“When life gives you lemons make lemonade”

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